Twisted Tale
by MewMew007
Summary: What happens when a muggle matchmaker is sought out by Dumbledore to bring house unity? Insanity, timetravel, intamacy...and pissed off characters. Hehehe...let the madness begin! R&R Parings: HGDM, BZGW, RWPP, HPLB
1. Chapter 1

Title: Twisted Tale

By: Tsuneni2Nocis

Summary: What happens when a muggle matchmaker is sought out by Dumbledore to bring house unity? Insanity, timetravel, closeness...and pissed off characters. Hehehe...let the madness begin! R&R Parings: HG/DM, BZ/GW, RW/PP, HP/LB

Disclaimer: I'll admit it, The Harry Potter characters ARE mine. Yup- I am J.K Rowling. Ha-ha-and then I woke up from this dream and realized I wasn't. So, not mine- Doesn't mean I can't borrow them and use them to preform my evil tricks on them though. Hehehe...this should be fun!

Chapter One:

A lone girl stood at the platform 9 3/4 her dark brown hair billowing around her, framing her oval face. She had Chocolate colored eyes, surrounded by black lashes, her nose was of normal size, lips average; although rosier than others. She wore robes with the Hogwarts crest, although she wasn't sorted yet. She was a little over five feet four inches and she stood looking around. Her name was Deisi Acevedo.

The whistle for the train heading towards Hogwarts blew and she rushed to get inside. Once inside she was greeted by a quarrel between a blond guy and a brunette. The guy stood at about 5'9 he had a muscular body, from what she could see, under robes that had the Slytherin crest on it. She saw he had stormy blue eyes that shone with loathing while looking down at the girl, his hair was platinum blond; a shade she had never seen before on a person. Paled skin and face with a glare he began to talked rather loudly.

"Filthy little muddblood! Get out of my freaking way, can't you see I'm walking here?" He spat out.

Deisi looked at the girl who was on the verge of choking the blond. She was about 5'5 and shorter than him, with messy curls all around her round face. Cinnamon colored eyes flashed at the blond and she wore a Griffindor crest on her robe. Her full lips were now thin and Deisi took a step back; she knew what was to come.

SLAP!

"DON'T YOU EVER CALL ME A MUDDBLOOD, MALFOY! I MIGHT BE A MUGGLE BORN BUT AT LEAST MY PARENTS AREN'T DEATH EATERS!" The girl then ran of towards the other direction, passing Deisi on the way.

_Hmmm...this is interesting. I wonder if I could get them to--_ Deisi smiled sinisterly as a plan formed in her head. She walked up to the Slytherin and began to talk.

"Hello, I'm Deisi. I'm a seventh year here at Hogwarts, this is my first year here actually." She extended her hand and the boy looked her over. He then began to smile, a cold-chilling smile that had her shaking a bit; though she dared not show it. He took her hand and kiss it.

"Draco Malfoy, at your service. I'm the Head Boy this year...Pureblood Slytherin." Deisi smiled and willed her face to not reveal her delight in knowing that he was Head Boy for this fit in perfectly for her plans.

She smiled seductively at him and leaned closer to him. _Hehehe- maybe, just maybe, this year will be fun after all! Let's play with his head shall we... _(A/N: Hehehe-I just got it right now! Don't think nasty though...I meant BRAIN! Bleh- I'll just stop now.)

"Slytherin you say? Well, Draco, I've always admired the Slytherins, you know." She then began making circular motions with her finger on his chest. "How they are all so cunning and strong...are you like that, Draco?"

Draco began to turn a deep shade of red, which is rather surprising, if you think about it. _Oh, how cute. I made him blush._

Draco began to cough and then smiled at her. "Of course I'm like that, I am the Head Boy after all."

Deisi continued the strocking and moved closer. "Yes, of course. Now, tell me...what did you have to do to become the HEAD of house?" She mumured next t his ear.

Draco started figiting around but soon composed himself, now a bit hot.(A/n: Does anyone remember a time what Draco wasn't so hot? lol. I didn't think so...carry on!) He then began to smirk.

"It's hard to explain...I know where I can show you EXACTLY why I'm the Head boy though...What do you say?"

Deisi smiled and batted her eyelashes at him, his smirk turned into a grin and Deisi began to back away from him.

"I would LOVE that, Draco...but what is your girlfriend going to say? I mean...you just had a lover's quarrel with her, shouldn't you be with HER?"

Draco paled and stepped back as if he just had been kicked on his--leg. "WHAT! ME AND HER! THAT'S HERMIONE GRANGER YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT! NEVER, NEVER, SAY THAT AGAIN! SHE'S MY ENEMY, A MUDDBLOOD, I WOULD NEVER LOWER MYSELF TO SUCH FILTH!"

_Ha-ha-that's what YOU think. _Deisi smiled and kissed Draco on the cheek. "Alright, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to insult you. Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to go conduct a plan so evil it'll make your great-great-great grandfather turn in his grave." Deisi walked away from a dumbfounded Draco and marched on up a head, while he watched her go.

Deisi went in search of Hermione and found her in a compartment with two other guys. One with red, messy hair and light green eyes, almost brown actually. From what she saw he was easily over six feet tall, along with the raven haired guy across from him. He had blue eyes and they both sported a very muscular body; they were both exceptionally good looking.

Right now three pairs of eyes were looking at her. She smiled and stayed in the doorway.

"Umm...hello. I'm Deisi, and new here..." The trio looked at her then at each other. Hermione was the first one to begin speaking.

"Hello, Deisi. I'm Hermione Granger and this here is Harry Potter-" She pointed at the black-haired guy, "and this is Ron Weasley."

"Hullo." They both said in unison.

Deisi was invited to sit down with them and they began to talk. Soon the compartment door opened and a red-headed girl appeared, along with another of brown hair. Hermione introduced them to Deisi, the red-head was Ginny Weasley, Ron's sister, and the brown-haired one was Lavender Brown. They sat with them and Deisi noticed that Lavender kept sending death glares at Harry, while Harry did the same.

_Hmmm...interesting, really interesting._

A few minutes passed on by in silence when suddenly the compartment door opened with a bang. Deisi first saw Draco who was with a dark Italian boy who was handsome, and a black-haired girl with short hair.

A smirk was on all their faces. Draco kept his gaze fixed on Hermione, while the Italian focused on Ginny, who looked ready to hex him. The black-haired girl focused on Ron, who looked back with loathing and Harry still looked at Lavender and vise-versa.

"Well, well, well...what do we have here? Potty, weasel, mudblood, the weaselette, and the Griffindor slut." Draco's eyes then focused on Deisi and he scowled. "And what are you doing here...with THIS filth?"

Deisi smiled sinisterly. "THAT is something I am not at liberty to discuss. The question here is really why are YOU here?"

Draco motioned to the people in the compartment.

"It's time for their daily dose of torture, I'm here to supply them with some."

"What!" The Griffindor's shouted.

Deisi ignored them and continued with the conversation.

"You know, I see no point in doing that. Why not just leave and go try to torture someone else? I saw some Hufflepuffs a few minutes ago pass by..."

"Are you trying to PROTECT these Griffindors?" Her asked.

"And what if I am?"

"Deisi, it's either you stick with the Slytherins OR you go with THEM." Draco spat out.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. Anyways, who are your friends?"

Draco raised an eyebrow but answered her question. "Blaise Zabinni and Pansy Parkinson, why?"

"No reason, just curiosity." Deisi looked from the Griffindors to the Slytherins and smiled. "I take it you all loathed one another?"

"YES!" they all cried in unison.

"Slytherins are-"

"Griffindors are-"

"complete-"

"idiots."

"assholes."

Deisi laughed as they all tried to tell bad things about each others houses. _You'll all be thinking differently when I'm through will you, just wait._

"Ha-ha-alright. Well, I'm gonna go now...see y'all later!" Deisi got up from her seat and moved the Slytherins so she could go find an empty compartment. Luckily she did find one and dropped her trunk in it.

She took out a notebook and charmed it to be only legible to her eyes.

_Today has been a very interesting day, and of course it isn't over yet. I have, of course, conducted a plan to get Slytherin and Griffindor houses together, just like Dumbledore requested of me. I already see the pairs I will be getting together, all I can say is that it won't be easy but nothing is really ever hard for a first-class matchmaker like myself, who knows? Maybe Arrows will give me advice this time...hehe...this'll be one interesting year. _

Author's note: Please review!

-Tsuneni2Nocis


	2. Chapter 2

Title: Twisted Tale

By: Tsuneni2Nocis

Summary: What happens when a muggle matchmaker is sought out by Dumbledore to bring house unity? Insanity, timetravel, closeness...and pissed off characters. hehehe...let the madness begin! R&R Parings: HG/DM, BZ/GW, RW/PP, HP/LB

Disclaimer: I'll admit it, The Harry Potter characters ARE mine. Yup- I am J.K Rowling. Ha-ha-and then I woke up from this dream and realized I wasn't. So, not mine- Doesn't mean I can't borrow them and use them to preform my evil tricks on them though. Hehehe...this should be fun!

Chapter 2:

After an hour or so more of sitting on the compartment Deisi finally fell asleep. By the time she woke up the Hogwarts Express was coming to a stop. Deisi gathered her trunk and went outside. She spotted a huge man coming her way, his name was Hagrid. She had been introduced to him before she had decided to take on the assignment and align herself with Dumbledore, for the good of the wizarding world.

_Flashback:_

_Deisi was curently in her muggle school, she had decided to go there instead of a wizarding one. Although she did know magic she didn't use it, after all, she was only fifteen years old. To use magic outside the wizarding world was against the rules, and she would of hated to break any of them. _

_She focused on her recent assignment, trying to match up two unlikely pairs; their parents wanted them to wed each other. She already saw how much they would fit with another, she could tell they even liked eachother; even if they did hide it behind words of anger._

_"In one and two, and three and four, the magic now is known. To bring them closer, open their eyes, what a nice surprise; they'll now seize to fight. And hug and kiss, and be together, let their love now be known. Of fire, earth, air and sea, as I chant this make it be!" Deisi had mumbled._

_Muggles were easily drawn to each other, and all they needed was a bit of magic to set them on their way. Deisi possesed a different kind of magic then wizards because she didn't need a wand to do some specific spells, although she did use a wand more often then not._

_She was widley known for her reputation as matchmaker, especially for one so young. She often pondered why SHE didn't have anyone of her own and later laughed about it; she just wasn't meant to be with anyone. _

_A tall, balding man walked towards her and handed her a pass to go to the office, she accepted it and went outside, towards the office. After steping outside the classroom, and the door slamming behind her, she was transported to a different place; it had been a portkey._

_She felt the pull and suddenldy she was on the ground, rubbing her injured back. Staring up she saw an old, tall and blue-eyed man. _

_"You know, next time give a girl a warning before you decide to give her a portkey!" She scoffed. _

_"I am so gonna have a bruise after this-"_

_"Ahem-Ms. Acevedo?" The man prompted._

_Deisi looked up from her position on the ground. "Yes?"_

_"Wouldn't you like to know WHY you are here and who I am?" He asked._

_Deisi murmured something that couldn't be heard and then spoke a little louder._

_"Yes, of course."_

_"Alright then, My name is Albus Dumbledore. I sought you out to propose something to you...are you up for a challenge, Ms. Acevedo?" _

_Suddenly the door to the room they were located in opened and Deisi saw a giant with a big-bushy beard walk in._

_She raised an eyebrow._

_"This is Hagrid, Ms. Acevedo. He's the Care of Magical Creatures teacher."_

_"'ello." He uttered._

_"Hello...umm, alright. What's the challenge, Proffesor?" _

_"To bring the houses of hogwarts together."_

_End Flashback:_

Slytherins and Griffindors had been known to hate each other, they would never get along. That's what everyone assumes anyways. Dumbledore had thought that if he got some students, the most troublesome, and had them be with another something might come of it; death was not among those things. And so here was Deisi about to spend her final year in a wizarding school to play matchmaker and establish peace within each house.

Hagrid soon was by her side and he took her trunk in his big hand.

"'ello Deisi, Dumbledore told me to take yer things up, and to tell yer to come to his office. Password's lemon drops." Hagrid then walked away and disappeared Deisi sighed and went up towards the castle. She was one in about two-thousand students in the Hogwarts alumni.

When she got to his office she said his password and the statue moved away leaving a spiral stair case on its wake. Deisi climbed the stairs and was soon face to face with an old man of white beard and a twinkle in his light blue eyes.

"Ah, Deisi. Come in, come in. Please take a seat, care for some All Flavored Jelly Beans?" Deisi took the chair across from his desk, and him. She shook her head and declined the jelly beans.

"No thank you Professor." She smiled.

"Ah, very well then. The reason I called for you today was to discuss the matter I presented to you a couple of weeks ago. How goes your plan?"

"It's going very well, Professor. I had the pleasure to meet the students today and decided which would be more likely to end up with another." Deisi began to laugh as she began to think about who she was trying to get together.

"Well, tell me then. Who are you planning to get together?" Dumbledore questioned, curiosity in his voice.

"Well, as of today I will do everything in my power to bring Hermione Granger and Draco Malfoy together. Ginny Weasley and Blaise Zabbini, Pansy Parkinson and Ron Weasley, Lavender Brown and Harry Potter, together. What do you think of them? They have great potential in turning their hate for another into love; if they don't end up killing each other first."

Dumbledore chuckled.

"I assure you that won't happen, Ms. Acevedo. That won't happen under my watch at least. Those pairs would help bring house togetherness, I approve. Now, how are you going to get them to be with another?"

Deisi smirked. "That, Professor, is something you'll just have to wait and see."

"Ah-not even a hint I presume? Oh, very well. I'll know soon enough, won't I? In the mean time, you should go to the welcome feast. You're to be sorted today, good luck."

"Thank you, Professor, I'll see you later."

Deisi walked out of Dumbledore's office and made her way to the Great Hall.

Author's note: . I got some reviews! How wonderful was that! Thank you to all who reviewed! lol...For that I'll give you a hint on what's happening in the next chapter: Food, Fight, Fright. lol. Triple the F's! Hope you're not allergic! Well, review!

-Tsuneni2Nocis


	3. Chapter 3

Title: Twisted Tale

By: Tsuneni2Nocis

Summary: What happens when a muggle matchmaker is sought out by Dumbledore to bring house unity? Insanity, timetravel, closeness...and pissed off characters. hehehe...let the madness begin! R&R Parings: HG/DM, BZ/GW, RW/PP, HP/LB

Disclaimer: I'll admit it, The Harry Potter characters ARE mine. Yup- I am J.K Rowling. Ha-ha-and then I woke up from this dream and realized I wasn't. So, not mine- Doesn't mean I can't borrow them and use them to preform my evil tricks on them though. Hehehe...this should be fun!

Chapter 3:

Deisi arrived at the Great Hall and Professor McGonagall came rushing towards her.

"There you are Ms. Acevedo. You're next in line to be sorted, Dumbledore and the rest of the Professors are waiting for you. Go on up to the stool."

Deisi made her way to the stool on which the sorting hat was in. Professor McGonagall raised the hat and put it on her head; the Great Hall was silent. (A/n: Since this is my story I'm gonna do something completely different for which house she gets sorted in. It'll go along with my plot more easily and stuff...)

_Hmm...you're cunning, Ms. Acevedo. Have bravery, ambition, loyalty, a good head on your shoulders..you shall be in..._

"Slytherin!" The Slytherin house erupted in cheers and Deisi smiled. The sorting hat wasn't done yet though.

"And Griffindor!"

The clapping stopped and the Great Hall grew silent. Whispers soon began to spread and Deisi looked questioningly at the Sorting Hat.

_I'm in WHAT! Oh, great. First day here and I'm already the odd one...not that it's bad or anything, I mean being different is a good thing, right? _

Deisi groaned as she realized she was talking to herself, again. She then looked at the sorting hat.

"How's this possible? I thought you could only be sorted into one house, not two! This must be a mistake...isn't it?" She demanded.

"I make no mistakes, you are in both those houses, now let me rest. I have to think of my next rhyme for next time...leave!" The sorting hat fumed.

_Great now the sorting hat hates me, ugh- how can things get any worse?_

Deisi heard shouting behind her suddenly and she turned around. The Griffindors were now shouting to the Slytherins, while the Slytherins shouted at the Griffindors.

"She can't be in both!" Draco and Hermione implored.

"Of course not, she's in Griffindor! Not some stupid house like yours!" Ron tried to get out.

"What! She's in Slytherin!" Pansy screeched.

"No! Griffindor!" Harry confirmed.

"Slytherin!" Blaise shouted.

"Griffindor!" Lavender mimicked.

"Slytherin!" Draco yelled, again.

"Argh-" Now all the Griffindors were raging mad.

"Grr-" The slytherins approached all the Griffindors.

_I just HAD to say that didn't I?_

The Proffessors just stood watching the whole scene with interest and then something happened that had Deisi laughing. Ron had thrown a Pumkin pie and it hit Pansy straight in the face. It slowly fell away from her face, she was now covered in whiped cream.

"Why you-" Without another word she got a turkey leg and threw it, hitting him on the cheek. He staggered back and everyone began to grab food.

"FOOD FIGHT!"

The Great Hall was in chaos and everyone was throwing food. Deisi went behind a table, narrowly missing being splattered with smashed potatoes. Hermione was now pouring juice on Draco's head while he grabbed some cherries. Hermione blinked and the next thing Deisi knew he grabbed her shirt and poured the bowl down the front.

Hermione began to scream murder and she knocked Draco to the ground. While on top of him she began to smirk.

"You know, Malfoy, I've always liked your hair...and I'm sure you wouldn't want anything bad to happen to it, would you?" Hermione forced out, the cherries were extremely cold inside her shirt, and they were squishy! She hated squishy things...not counting her stuffed animals though; she liked those.

"You wouldn't dare, Granger." He muttered.

His only respose was a butterbeer going towards his hair, followed closely by some jell-o.

"AHAAAAA! MY HAIR! GRAGNER YOU IDIOT! I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU DID THAT! MY PERFECT HAIR! THE HORROR!" Draco stated, his voice cracking a bit.

"Oh, get over yourself, Malfoy."

Deisi began to laugh and she ducked once again, the gravy that had been aimed at her covered Neville now. She clutched her stomach laughing at the sight. Crouching down she saw that Ginny and Blaise were throwing vast amounts of food on eachother, the other un-caring that they had chocolate, suggar and ice cream on their clothes. All they wanted to do was get the other to give up first.

"Give up, Weasley!"

"No! I'll never give up to the likes of a SLYTHERIN! Dream on!"

"Give up!"

"No!"

"Do it!"

"NOOOO!"

More food followed after wards, by the time Deisi was finished watching them Ginny was knee high in food, vise-versa for Blaise. Meanwhile, with Harry and Laveder...

Lavender and Harry were back to back, their arms full of syrup and other weapons that they might be able to use. Slytherins were coming towards them from all the sides, they were covered by every type of food.

"Go for the ones in front of you, Lavender, I'll take care of the rest."

"Alright, Harry."

The slytherins punced on Lavender but she managed to dance away. She grabbed a bottle of chocolate and strawberry syrup and sprayed the Slytherins with it. Goyle, who she had hit, looked down at his shirt and noticed it was red. He dropped to the ground, whimpering.

"She got me! She got me! I'm gonna die now, I've been shot! Ahaaaa!" Goyle kept on squirming on the ground, then he stopped as if he had just seen someone in front of him. "Aunt Manilda? Is that you? Yes, I am coming home soon...yes, I am."

Lavender stared at the Slytherin incrediously and then poured some more syrup on him. The next instant he was 'dead'.

"Alright, then."

Harry was still behind Lavender and fought off two Slytherins. He covered them in prune juice. They screamed, and backed away.

"It burns!" The prune juice, acted as Holy Water for Harry and he continued to pour it on them. They left, crying their heads off.

Lavender and Harry hugged each other because of their victory and realized what they were doing.

"Get the hell away from me, Brown!"

"I wasn't the one who got close to me!"

"Arg-"

"Grr-"

The two Giffindors continued bickering with eachother, until two identical pies were sent towards their heads, then they began to fight again.

The Great Hall was in chaos and the Professors still din't do anything. They were actually cheering for the house they wanted to win, and were betting on the outcome.

After an hour the students began to drop like flies and soon they were all panting on the ground. Deisi munched on some chicken pieces with gravy and some smashed potatoes as the last student fell.

Dumbledore then stood up and looked around, everyone was to tired and so they listened. Not even the slytherins complained.

"Now, the sorting hat had decided and Ms. Acevedo will be in two houses. Now that you're all done with your childish games you can get to cleaning the Great Hall."

Every student moaned and soon they started verbally fighting.

"This is all YOUR fault!"

"No, yours!"

A pie soon followed and everything started all over again.

The Next Day

After the insanity of the next day, and Deisi getting sorted in two separate houses, the first day of classes began. Deisi had conducted the first part of her plan yesterday, while in the Head's dormitory; after helping to supervise the clean-up. She was to stay with Draco and Hermione, who was Head Girl, until they could fully solve the problem of where she was to stay.

After getting a quick breakfast in the Great hall she gathered her books and made her way to her Potion's class, which she purposely came an hour early to. She spotted a dark figure with greasy black hair and a frown upon his face; he was Professor Snape.

"Hello Professor." Professor Snape looked up from the piece of parchment he was looking over and simply looked at Deisi.

"Ahem- I presume you know why I came to this school already?"

"Yes, I do know. Why?"

Deisi smiled, letting the Slytherin part of her come out.

"Well, you see Professor I need you to make some students do a particular potion..."

The bell rang signaling for the students to go to their first class. The golden trio came into the dungeons, ready to face Snape. The Professor they most despised. Deisi sat towards the back of the classroom and observed the three Griffindors. Soon Draco, Pansy and Blaise came into the room and sat away from the Griffindors.

Professor Snape came into the room, his robes billowing before him. The room was completely silent and Deisi saw Neville, a Griffindor, cower as Snape's gaze roamed over him.

"Today we are to make a potion, not just any potion; the potion of Nocis. Can anyone tell me what this potion can do?" Snape surveyed the room and didn't even glance at Hermione, who was waving frantically, trying to answer the question.

"No, then? Very well..." Hermione blew out a sigh of frustration. Snape's eyes focused on her and he smiled maliciously.

"Five point from Griffindor for unnecessary frustration."

"What!" Ron, Harry and Hermione yelled.

Snape smirked, "ten more points from Griffindor for unnecessary anger towards un fair deduction of points, each. Now, sit down!"

Anger showed in the three Griffindor's faces and Deisi saw the Slytherins try to hide, unsuccessfully, laughter. Of course, Snape didn't say anything.

"Now, as I was saying. The Potion of Nocis is used to conjure good karma, or luck. It was a brilliant potion that a student came up with thirteen years ago. Today you are to conduct this potion. I will partner you up." Snape smirked as the students turned white as sheets.

"Granger you're with Mr. Malfoy."

"What!" Identical looks and words of outrage came out from Draco and Hermione. Deisi chuckled.

"Five points from both of you for outrage over your parteners, now get to work!"

Snape continued to say the pairs of people and Hermione went over towards Draco.

"You better not touch me, Granger. You might get my new robes filthy."

"Don't flatter yourself, Malfoy. Not only do I NOT want to touch you, I also don't want to tarnish my hands with YOUR filth. Ferret Face."

Deisi bit back a smile, she was behind Draco and Hermione, Ron had been partnered up with her. Snape had given the pair of them a list of ingredients to put in the potion. A list she had purposely designed to fit in with her plan, to get them together. _And boy are they going to be shocked once they find out what happened. _

Hermione didn't even notice that she was putting in the ingredients for another potion, not the Potion of Nocis. She was that angry right now. Draco on the other hand, was working silently, once in a while making a rude comment, which Hermione tried to ignore, though it was hard.

Deisi saw that Hermione had now some rosemarry on her hand and turned to Ron.

"Ron, we need some more Dragon's blood...let's go get some more, okay?" Ron nodded and they walked to where the ingredients were now located at. Deisi turned around in time to see that Hermione was putting in the rosemarry. _One, two and thr-_

Boom!

The potion exploded and covered Hermione and Draco from head to toe. There was an enormous amount of potion around Deisi's and Ron's work station. _Thank goodness I moved out of the way in time. I REALLY don't want to be where they will end up being. Hehehe...can't wait until class is over._

Author's Note: Dontcha want to know where Hermione and Draco went? Hehehe- so do I. Anyways, next chapter you'll find out. Hmm...lol. I don't really think you guy like reviewing stories, I'm more than happy though since you've been adding me to your favorite stories thing! Please review too, though! I'd say I'll post a new chapter every three days or so...depending on the reviews I get! So...click the button below!

-Tsuneni2Nocis


	4. Chapter 4

Title: Twisted Tale

By: Tsuneni2Nocis

Summary: What happens when a muggle matchmaker is sought out by Dumbledore to bring house unity? Insanity, time travel, closeness...and pissed off characters. hehehe...let the madness begin! R&R Parings: HG/DM, BZ/GW, RW/PP, HP/LB

Disclaimer: I'll admit it; The Harry Potter characters ARE mine. Yup- I am J.K Rowling. Ha-ha-and then I woke up from this dream and realized I wasn't. So, not mine- Doesn't mean I can't borrow them and use them to perform my evil tricks on them though. Hehehe...this should be fun!

Chapter 4:

Ron, Harry, Pansy and Blaise raced to the area where they had heard and seen Hermione and Draco disappear in. They were about to touch the potion.

"Don't touch it!" Deisi screamed. The four students backed away and Deisi came forward. She acted as if she was concerned. Professor Snape came forward and looked at the five students.

"What happened here?" He asked.

"Hermione and Malfoy were making there potion and then they disappeared, after it erupted and covered them."

Snape looked at Harry and then at the rest of the students. "Class is dismissed, you five, come with me." The five students followed Snape to Dubmledor's office. Pansy had now begun to cry her eyes out over her "drakie-pooh." She was clutching Blaise's arm; he looked about ready to strangle her. Ron and Harry weren't paying attention since they were too concerned for Hermione.

When they got to Dubledor's office they sat down on the four students began to talk at once.

"Hermione is-"

"Lost, fix it-"

"My drakie-pooh-"

"Gone by the potion!"

Deisi began to laugh out loud, clutching her stomach as she dropped to the ground. Six pairs of eyes followed her movement.

"What's so funny?" They all said in unison.

"No-nothing! It's just that you're all so comical." Deisi wiped out some tears from the corner of her eyes and crossed her legs, looking up at Dumbledore; her face now serious.

"Dumbledore, Hermione and Draco have disappeared because of a potion they were brewing. We have found no traces of them, what should we do?" Deisi asked, concerned etched in her voice. _Hehehe...I'm so evil! I can't wait to look into my crystal!_

Dumbledore looked at the young girl and knew instantly what she had done. "We will look into this matter more closely, Mr. Potter, Mr. Weasley, Mr. Zabbini and Ms. Parkinson, please head back to your dormitories. We will sort this all out, and see where your young Ms. Granger and Mr. Malfoy have gone to."

"But-"

"Why-"

"My Drakie-pooh-"

"No-"

"Enough! Do as the head Master has suggested and come back tomorrow, in the mean time I'll see what I can do to see what went wrong with the potion." Snape responded as he halted the denials of the four students.

Dumbledore looked at Deisi and she smiled. "Ms. Acevedo, I need to talk to you in privet, if you will come this way?"

Deisi followed dumbledore farther into his office, to a part no other student had gone to. It was surrounded by portraits and chairs lined the walls.

"Does this potions accident happen to do with the match making?" He asked.

"Yup, it does."

"Then kindly say where they are, Ms. Acevedo." Deisi grinned sheepishly.

"Well, Professor, I've always wanted to go back in time, you see. I, also, loved the Middle Ages...the wizarding ones at least. Princesses and Princes. Oh, let's not forget the dragons! Hehehe- I thought that without anyone to turn to but themselves, Draco and Hermione would get along. Best part is...I charmed a crystal ball to show me what's going on between the two of them. I have it now in the Head's common room, hooked up to a muggle contraption; called a television. I'll be going there as soon as we are finished to see what's happening with them."

Dumbledore looked at Deisi with a twinkle in his eyes and a smile upon his face. "Truly cunning, Ms. Acevedo. Carry on then, when do you plan to bring them back to their own time though?"

"That is out of my hands...it could take years or days, depending on the time it takes them to get along with each other. If you'll excuse me Professor...?"

"Yes, yes, you may go now Ms. Acevedo."

Author's Note: Yes, I know...it's short but still...next ones coming out soon! You'll get to see Hermione and Draco next chapter! The more reviews I get the faster I'll review! Hint, hint REVIEW! lol

-Tsuneni2Nocis


	5. Chapter 5

Title: Twisted Tale

By: Tsuneni2Nocis

Summary: What happens when a muggle matchmaker is sought out by Dumbledore to bring house unity? Insanity, time travel, closeness...and pissed off characters. hehehe...let the madness begin! R&R Parings: HG/DM, BZ/GW, RW/PP, HP/LB

Disclaimer: I'll admit it; The Harry Potter characters ARE mine. Yup- I am J.K Rowling. Ha-ha-and then I woke up from this dream and realized I wasn't. So, not mine- Doesn't mean I can't borrow them and use them to perform my evil tricks on them though. Hehehe...this should be fun!

Chapter 5:

Deisi walked leisurely towards the Head's common room and sat down on a comfortable couch. She grabbed the remote of the big screen TV and switched through the channels finally finding the one Hermione and Draco where showing in. Deisi smiled and took out a wand, she magically made a bowl of butter popcorn appear, along with plenty of pumpkin juice.

England, Middle Ages, 1277

Hermione felt herself being pulled forward after the potion had covered her from head to toe. She tried to scream out a curse at Malfoy but didn't get the chance to. Now she was on the ground, below her something kept squirming, she opened her eyes and realized that Malfoy was below her. She yelped and rolled off of him.

"Bloody time you got off of me, mudblood." Draco got up and bushed off the dirt on his clothes. He was too angry to notice the fact that he wasn't wearing his school robes.

"Malfoy, you dumbass! What did you do to the potion! Where the hell are we!" Hermione screeched as she looked around and noticed that she was not any where near Hogwarts. Small villages were around the area, crop fields were close by and people wearing funny clothing were coming towards her.

Draco looked around and began to pale even more.

"Granger, reverse this!" Draco commanded.

"I don't know how to, and it WAS your fault! What did you do?"

"Nothing!" He stated defensively.

"Liar! Malfoy, we aren't at Hogwarts anymore!" Hermione cried.

"No, really?" He replied sarcastically.

"Don't make that tone with me, Malfoy!"

"I'll do what I very well please; it WAS your fault to begin with!"

"It was not!"

"Was too."

Draco then looked down at Hermione and took a look at what she was wearing.

"What are you wearing?" _Damn, I never knew Granger had such curves...what did I just say? Hell I must be going crazy! _

Hermione looked down and covered her chest, which was more that exposed. She blushed furiously as she noticed she was wearing a gown of velvet, her dress was crimson in color and was trimmed with gold thread around the bosom. Her breasts were exposed and the corset, which she just realized was cutting of her circulation, made her waist seem tinier than it really was. Her hair was in soft waves around her back, a golden ribbon was braided through it.

"Bloody hell." Hermione then looked at Draco and went pale. "W-what are YOU wearing?"

Draco looked down and noticed that he was wearing some type of dress thing. It was down to his knees and he wore some sort of tight material on his legs that covered them. His sleeves were enormous and he had a cape around him.

"Crap, where the hell are we!" Hermione shook her head and shrugged, while trying to make the corset a little bit less...tight.

"I have no clue, I-I can't seem to breath though. I think I should lie-" Hermione fainted without finishing her sentence, the fact that she hadn't gotten enough oxygen had her gasping and finally falling into a deep oblivion.

Some people dressed as lavishly as Draco and Hermione rushed forward.

"Prince Draco, what happened to the Princess?" One man asked. Draco said nothing, realizing what the other man had just said. _Bloody hell...prince?_

"Move aside, move aside!" A man bellowed, instantly the crowd around Hermione parted. A beefy man with rosy cheeks wearing a golden crown on his head went forward and motioned for two people to come. "Take my daughter to the castle while I deal with the Prince."

The two men rushed forward and carried "Princess Hermione" up to the castle, which vaguely resembled Hogwarts. The beefy man with brown eyes turned to Draco.

"Draco, my boy, what happened to my daughter?"

"Err...I don't know...sir. One minute she was standing, talking to me, and the next she...collapsed."_ Probably anorexic or something...stupid Granger._

"Very well, then. I've fetched the healer; he'll be here in a couple of minutes. I've notified your father, also. He'll be here shortly so we can finish drawing the plans out. You're a lucky lad, now go to Hermione; she must have wakened up by now."

"Err...right." _Shit, these people must be on drugs or something! Argh! Why am I even wearing these damn clothes! Who knew tights were so uncomfortable...damn Granger and her damn potion! I'll get her for this; she must have done it on purpose. _

Draco made his way towards the castle, where he headed up to Hermione's chamber. A servant had shown him where it had been and he entered, ready to strangle Hermione. As the door opened his jaw dropped.

Hogwarts, the 20th century

Deisi gasped as she saw the vision on television.

"Oh, god. I did NOT have to see THAT." Deisi turned of the television and go up from her position on the couch.

"Hmm...I would say so far so good. That's one pair that's going through something right now...ha-ha! Wait till later when they find out that they are be-" Deisi looked up and spotted the women in the portrait looking at her funny.

"Is there a problem?" Deisi asked.

"Well, my dear, is it a usual habit of yours to talk to yourself?"

Deisi grinned. "As a matter of fact, yes. Yes, it is. Now if you will kindly let me get back to my conversation...?"

"Yes, yes, carry on...children these days."

Deisi went back to talking to herself, an idea struck her rapidly and she took out her pen and notebook.

_So far everything is going according to plan. Hermione and Draco have both gone back in time and are in the Medieval Ages. From that point everything is fine, although they could be better. Hopefully they don't end up killing each other. From the looks of it, the just might though. Hmm...It's time for me to turn my attentions to another couple though. I think I know who it's going to be this time. Lavender and Harry ARE in the same house, yet they don't seem to be that close...wonder why they don't like another. Oh, well. I'll just have to...bring them together, closer I should say. Yes, that's exactly what I will do. _

Author's note: Hehehehe...Harry and Lavender are up next. Don't worry though; you'll get to read more on Hermione and Draco. Review!

-Tsuneni2Nocis


	6. Chapter 6

Title: Twisted Tale

By: Tsuneni2Nocis

Summary: What happens when a muggle matchmaker is sought out by Dumbledore to bring house unity? Insanity, timetravel, closeness...and pissed off characters. hehehe...let the madness begin! R&R Parings: HG/DM, BZ/GW, RW/PP, HP/LB

Disclaimer: I'll admit it; The Harry Potter characters ARE mine. Yup- I am J.K Rowling. Ha-ha-and then I woke up from this dream and realized I wasn't. So, not mine- Doesn't mean I can't borrow them and use them to perform my evil tricks on them though. Hehehe...this should be fun!

Chapter 6:

The Next Day

Dumbledore was in his office, he had just finished talking to Harry, Ron, Blaise, Lavender, Ginny and Pansy. He had told them that the potion had sent Hermione and Draco back into the past and they were currently trying to bring them back; which they really weren't.

The day went on without many words spoken between anyone. Deisi sighed and decided to put her plan into action. She was told that there was a dueling club, here in Hogwarts, and that Lavender AND Harry were part of it. There was a meeting that afternoon, also.

She walked towards the chamber that the meeting was to be held at and she watched as everyone was partnered up with someone to duel with. Much to Deisi's relief Lavender and Harry ended up being together. She pointed her wand at the pair and began to say a quick spell; soon it was finished, without anyone noticing what she had done.

Harry and Lavender were the first ones to duel against each other. _Let the madness began...hehehe-poor Harry AND Lavender, hope they aren't allergic to each other. _

The dueling began and Harry managed to send Lavender back, crashing into the wall. She raised herself up and shouted a spell; Harry got his wand and pointed it, trying to block the spell. As soon as both spells hit each other Harry and Lavender were sent crashing, towards another. The two students hit each other and ended up with bruises every where.

"Look what you did!" Lavender cried as she touched her left shoulder.

"What I did! You were the one that sent that damn spell in the first place!" Harry shouted.

"Did not!"

"Did too!"

"DID NOT!"

"DID TOO!"

"DID NO-"

"Enough! Both of you get up." The Professor over looking the duel commanded. The two teenagers tried to get up and kept bumping into each other.

"Move!" Lavender told Harry.

"No, you move!"

Both Harry and Lavender tried to get away from each other, and then realization struck. They were stuck to each other; their shoulders wouldn't stop touching the others.

"Bloody hell, what did you do, Brown!" Harry said as he tried to pry Lavender off of him. "Get the hell away from me!"

"Do you honestly think I want to be next to you...breathing the same air as you! What type of spell did you cast, Potter?" Lavender was close to tears now and Harry looked like he was about to choke someone.

Deisi looked at them from a distance laughing at their silliness, the fact that they were fighting only made things worst for them; they got closer and closer together.

Harry looked to where Ginny and Ron where at and he called to them.

"Help me get this slut off of me!" He whimpered.

"Slut! Harry James Potter, did you just call me a SLUT!" Incredulous Lavender demanded.

"Yes I-" Lavender pounced on Harry and tried to strangle him one handed, since the other hand was stuck to him.

"Why you little arrogant, slime-" She started slapping and kicking Harry.

Harry, his face now bruised, fought to get a hold of Lavender.

"Stop it! I said STOP IT! Bloody hell, women, you're destroying my face!"

Lavender stopped all of a sudden. She was now on top of Harry, their right hands connected.

"Alright, you won. I will stop destroying your face." Harry breathed a sigh of relief, which was short lived since he saw the look on Lavenders face.

"All right I'll stop hitting your head," she said in a low, fierce voice. Lavender than looked down, towards Harry's privets. She look at Harry in his eyes and a smile spread over her lips. "I can't guarantee anything about destroying the bottom one! I'll show you not to call me that again!"

Lavender grabbed her wand and aimed it towards Harry's crotch. Ron rushed forward and took a hold of Lavender.

"Easy, Lavender. No need to castrate Harry..." Lavender struggled to get Ron to let her go.

"Let me go! Damn you! Get that lying son of a bitch away from me!"

Ron and Ginny tried to get Harry away from Lavender, it was no use. The Professor soon came in, followed by Dumbledore.

"What happened here?" Dumbledore questioned laughter evident on his voice.

"It was HIS fault! He got us stuck together, Professor! Oh- the agony! Get him away from me! Please! He's filthy, and a slimy git! Malfoy is WAY better than him! And hotter, why can't I be stuck to HIM!"

"What! Malfoy! You would prefer to be stuck with MALFOY! Are you insane! Do you know he's a death eater! Do you know that he's the Slytherin hoe! Damit Lavender, where is your common sense!"

"Potter, that's none of your business! And at least Malfoy wouldn't cheat on someone while going out with them! He has honor, even if he IS a Slytherin!"

Harry growled. "What are you trying to say! Stop going around the subject and just spit it out!"

"Enough!" Dumbledore's voice was low but audible. Lavender and Harry soon stopped yelling. Dumbledore took out his wand and tried to fix the problem, he couldn't.

"I am sorry to say this but I couldn't find a counter-curse. You two will have to try to get along while I work with Professor Lupin (A/N: Lupin, in this story, is, again, the Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher) to try to find a spell to undo this.

"What!" Harry and Lavender both shouted.

_Two down, two more to go...let's get started on the next plan shall we? _Dumbledore came towards Deisi and smiled the twinkle now back.

"Ms. Acevedo, can you come to my office please?"

Deisi jumped down from the window sill and nodded she then followed Dumbledore, Harry and Lavender could be heard shouting at another from a distance.

Author's note: I am SOOO sorry for not updating until now…I've been so busy with school! TO make it up…at least a little I'm posting another chapter today. Review!


	7. Chapter 7

Title: Twisted Tale

By: Tsuneni2Nocis

Summary: What happens when a muggle matchmaker is sought out by Dumbledore to bring house unity? Insanity, time travel, closeness...and pissed off characters. hehehe...let the madness begin! R&R Parings: HG/DM, BZ/GW, RW/PP, HP/LB

Disclaimer: I'll admit it; The Harry Potter characters ARE mine. Yup- I am J.K Rowling. Ha-ha-and then I woke up from this dream and realized I wasn't. So, not mine- Doesn't mean I can't borrow them and use them to perform my evil tricks on them though. Hehehe...this should be fun!

Chapter 7:

Deisi and Professor Dumbledore made their way to Dumbledore's office and he said the password that had them making their way to the inside of it. Dumbledore offered Deisi a seat and she accepted it gratefully.

"Now, Ms. Acevedo. Why type of spell did you conduct on Mr. Potter and Ms. Brown?"

"A binding spell, of my own creation. I find it extremely sound proof and easy to take off...at least if they figure out what it does."

"What exactly does it do?" Dumbledore inquired.

"It makes the persons that it was preformed on attached to each other in some way. Lavender are attached by their right hands, as you are aware. This spell, once preformed, is only able to be taken off when the two people are getting along. It can determine if they really are or...if they are not, in which case it only gets tighter and they get closer together."

"Ingenious, Ms. Acevedo. I am a bit curious about finding out what happened to Ms. Granger and Mr. Malfoy..."

Deisi shuddered as she remembered what she saw on the screen.

"Ahem- they are doing very well, Professor. Couldn't be any better. Hermione, did faint though...I think her corset was a little too tight...not to worry though...she fixed that." _Unfortunately._

"Very well, Ms. Acevedo. You may go now."

Deisi got up from the chair and made her way out of Dumbledor's office. She then decided to go to the Astronomy tower and look over the Hogwarts grounds.

As she made her way up the vast amounts of stairs she started to reminisce a certain person. All her plans about bringing together the houses were going along smoothly...she just didn't understand why her relationship couldn't work out.

_Here's the thing, we started out friends,_

_It was cool, but it was all pretend,_

_Yeah, yeah, since you been gone,_

_You dedicated, you took the time,_

_Wasn't long till I called you mine._

Ethan and herself had both been in love with each other...or at least she thought that he had been in love with her, for she was. They first met over a friend and ever since then they had begun being best friends.

They shared some things in common, had the same interest...why did everything have to go so wrong?

_Yeah, yeah, since you been gone,_

_And all you'd ever hear me say,_

_Is how I'd picture me with you,_

_That's all you'd ever hear me say._

They both began planning for the future, everything. She was, for once in her life, happy. The perfect couple, that's all everyone would have said. She had a sinking feeling, though, that everything would not stay the same for long.

_How can I put it, you put me on,_

_I even fell for that stupid love song,_

_Yeah, yeah, since you've been gone._

She had fallen hard for him, and she still loved him, their relationship had ended though. He had...found someone new, someone better; someone he said he truly loved. It had crushed her, the man she was so deep in love with had...left her.

_You had your chance, you blew it,_

_Out of sight, out of mind,_

_Shut your mouth I can't take it,_

Deisi sighed and looked out towards the grounds. It was no use living in the past, she was stronger than that; the best match maker around. If she was destined to be by herself, then so be it. She needed no one, just her family, why let some guy destroy her happiness? She was better than that.

_Again, and again, and again and again!_

Deisi walked out of the Astronomy Tower and headed towards the Head's common room to get her things. She, also, had to check on how Harry and Lavender were doing.

She would put Ethan to the back of her head for now...and try to pry him from her heart. If only people had control over their emotions...

I was going to stop here…but what the heck…I'll continue, since it was a short chapter!

Deisi made her way down to the Great Hall. She had lessons on apparition with Professor Garske. (A/n: Just a professor I made up...actually she's my old math teacher!) Pansy and Ron, also, had her class, while Harry and Lavender, Blaise and Ginny didn't.

A woman in her forties wearing spectacles and her hair cut down to her neck appeared out of no where. The students gasped and clapped.

"Students, listen up. Today is to be your first day in Apparition lessons. It is not an easy thing to accomplish and most of you won't be able to do it even within weeks from now. Do not get discouraged, though.

Students in ALL my classes, so far, have done absolutely nothing, but they hold much promise. Maybe one or two of you will be able to apart at least a leg or a finger today."

The student's eyes began to get huge and Deisi bit back a laugh.

"W-w-what?" Ron stuttered out.

"Well, Mr. Weasley most people when they begin to learn how to apparate only do so with a bit of body parts. My students usually leave their lower half here while their other half is somewhere else. We usually get that problem fixed in a month or so..."

The students started to back away from the teacher and tried to head towards the open doors. They closed on them and Pansy and Ron started to pound on them.

"Open!" Ron shouted.

"P-PLEASE! OPEN!" Pansy screeched.

They both looked at each other and forgot that they hated each other.

"What do we do, Ron? I don't want to end up with half a body!" Pansy lunged at Ron and hugged him, tears falling.

"Pansy, y-you're cutting off my circulation!" Ron gasped.

"Sorry!"

"Don't worry about it...I know what we can do!" A gleeful Ron started to jump up and down.

"What! Spit it out!"

Ron spit out the gum he had been chewing and then grinned.

"I once saw this thing...a muggle thing with moving pictures! It was bloody awesome! And in it they had some...cartoons, I think it was; yes, that was it! This dudes they said 'open sesame' and this thing opened and then they were inside! (A/n: Hehehe...I love Aladdin) Maybe we should try that!"

Pansy grabbed Ron and kissed his cheek.

"Brilliant, Ron! We should try it, ready? On the count of three...one, two, thre-"

"OPEN SECIME!" They both screamed in unison. The door started to make weird noises and they started jumping up and down together.

"It think it's working, Ron! You did it!" The door to the Great Hall made another noise and then a lock appeared out of nowhere, locking the doors. It was now nearly impossible to open.

"NOOOOOOO!" They both fell to the ground sobbing and holding each other. They soon realized they were holding their enemy and they shoved each other away form the other.

"Don't touch me, Weasley!"

"I wasn't the one clutching my shirt and KISSING ME! Now I'll need to take a shower!"

"FINALLY! You reek so much a shower would be an IMPROVEMENT! I never even knew you knew that word!"

"Shut up Parkinson! No body asked your slutty opinion!"

"No body needs to ask it! It's freely given!"

"Unfortunately for the rest of us! Pug-faced git!"

"What! Freckled faced, bad breath weasel!"

"You have freckles too!"

"Not as many as you!"

"Liar!"

Pansy and Ron continued to fight with another as Deisi headed to Professor Garske.

"Professor? Are we going to get started with the lessons soon?" She asked the Professor.

"Yes, Ms. Acevedo. As soon as I decide which pair of students will apparate soon."

Deisi grinned and faked innocence.

"Did Dumbledore tell you about the reason why I am here?"

"Yes, he informed all the teachers, said if we could help to just ask us."

"Great! Well...you see those two students bickering and getting ready to kill each other?"

The Professor looked to where Pansy and Ron where, they both had their hands around the others neck.

"I-c-c-an' b-breath! Let go Parkinson!" Ron gasped as he tried to choke Pansy harder so she would let go of him.

"T-t-that's the p-point! Y-you let go!" And so it continued, until neither Pansy nor Ron could breath. They both soon collapsed to the ground, for lack of oxygen.

The Professor then looked at Deisi.

"Yes, what about them?"

"Well-"

----

"Alright students! Listen up, lessons will now commence, we will have two people at a time begin to try and apparate." She looked around the crowd and saw that Ron and Pansy were now awake, their necks were bruised and traces of fingers could be seen on their necks.

"Mr. Weasley, Ms. Parkinson, come here please." The Professor commanded.

Pansy and Ron got up on wobbly feet and walked towards the Professor.

"Alright, now both of you close your eyes." Both students did as the teacher commanded. Ron and Pansy had begun to shake so badly that their teeth chattering could be heard all through the great Hall.

"Give me both of your wands; you will not need them." (A/n: Don't do it!) Pansy and Ron were too scared to argue and handed the Professor their wands. (A/n: Gasp! Noooo!)

"Alright, now think of a place that you would want to go to. Picture it clearly and imagine yourself there." The two students concentrated on their location while Deisi took out her wand and said a quick spell.

"Picture it really clearly now...concentrate." A popping sound soon followed those words and Pansy and Ron where no where to be seen.

The students erupted in cheers and Deisi smiled a secretive smile.

"I think that's all for now...I still need to figure out where these students went. Tomorrow the rest of you will have a try at it!"

Deisi headed out of the Great Hall and went to the Head's Common Room. She still needed one more plan to get into action, and that was to involve Blaise and Ginny. This would be very...interesting.

Author's Note: Please review! Oh, I won't be updating until…January because I'm going on vacation! Till then …Adios!

Tsuneni2Nocis


	8. Chapter 8

Title: Twisted Tale

By: Tsuneni2Nocis

Summary: What happens when a muggle matchmaker is sought out by Dumbledore to bring house unity? Insanity, time travel, closeness...and pissed off characters. hehehe...let the madness begin! R&R Parings: HG/DM, BZ/GW, RW/PP, HP/LB

Disclaimer: I'll admit it; The Harry Potter characters ARE mine. Yup- I am J.K Rowling. Ha-ha-and then I woke up from this dream and realized I wasn't. So, not mine- Doesn't mean I can't borrow them and use them to perform my evil tricks on them though.

Author's note: Hey, guys! I'm back! Yaaay. How was your Christmas and winter Holidays? Well…let's get started! On with the story!

Chapter 8:

Deisi walked out of the Great Hall singing a tune she had composed herself.

_I'm so very, very evil,_

_La-la-la-la-la-la-la-la_

'_Tis the season to put couples together, _

_La-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la_

_To torture, and watch them,_

_La-la-la-la-la-la-la-la…_

Deisi continued humming until she came upon her, now own, dormitory room. She said the password and went in. She had only one purpose in mind; to see what was happening with Hermione and Draco (A/n: Yeah, I'm finally getting to them again.) and to see what Pansy and Ron were doing. After she was done with that she was going to go and see what Lavender and Harry were up to. As for Ginny and Blaise; she was going to put that plan into action a little later.

She went into her room, and Hermione's and she took out some sweat pants and a white tank-top. After she changed she returned to the common room and sat on the couch; which was across the television set. She grabbed her red blanket and covered herself with it, then she turned on the TV; flipping through the channels.

"A-ha, Gottcha." She mumbled as she found the channel Hermione and Draco were located at.

-England, Middle Ages, 1277-

(A/n: Dun, dun, dun.)

Draco made his way towards the castle, where he headed up to Hermione's chamber. A servant had shown him where it had been and he entered, ready to strangle Hermione. As the door opened his jaw dropped.

Hermione stood there, clutching a pillow to her obviously nude body. She stared in horror at the three servants around her, trying to dress her; she still hadn't noticed Draco gawking at her like a school boy.

"Get away from me! Ah, I can dress MYSELF! No, don't touch me; sick-o perverts! I'm not THAT kind of girl; I like guys, men, the MALE species!" Hermione moved away from one of the servants trying to clean her body off with a wet cloth.

She was extremely embarrassed because of her body, nobody had ever, EVER, seen her nude once her body had begun to change. Not since she was a BABY, which she wasn't now.

"Milady, but we must wash you. You have dirt everyone, 'tis not fit for a princess. Your father will have out heads if he sees you haven't been cleaned properly; stand still, please?" One of the servants begged.

"Noooooo! Nobody touches MY body, except me. It's just…too weird. Get out! Out, out, out!" She yelled.

She tried moving away from their grasp but one of the servants managed to grab the pillow Hermione had been clutching to cover some of her nudity. She now had no armor to cover anything up.

Draco, he still stared. He was getting extremely hard at the sight of Hermione nude. Her slender waist, wide hips, ample bosom, was making him think very erotic thoughts too. He pictured himself surrounded by her long, full legs and being kissed by her. He snapped out of it all of a sudden and realized where his thoughts had already headed to. But damn if he wasn't hard, it was bordering to almost painful.

Hermione tried to run by the servants, one hand covering her breasts and the other her lower half. When she made it passed them she stopped abruptly and finally noticed Draco.

"Ahhhhh! Get out you pervert! Ouuuut! OMG! I can't believe you're just standing there, looking at me! Get out, or I swear I fill rip you bone from bone! Ouuuuut!" Hermione screamed.

Draco forced a smirk, though his hard-on was preventing him from saying much.

"Muddblood, why would I lower myself to watch the lower peasantry when I can have anyone I want?" His voice came out husky and he forced himself to look like her nudeness didn't affect him in the least.

Hermione looked down and looked up again. Raising an eye brow she said, "Ahem- is that a scroll under your toga or are you just happy to see me then?"

Draco turned a deep crimson and cursed tights.

The servants didn't let Draco response to that and began wailing in hysteria.

"Prince Draco, what are you doing in your lady's chambers? Her father will have your head if he finds out you have seen his daughter without robes; before…well, I'm sure you know about it!" an exasperated servant yelled.

Soon they were rushing towards him and shoving him onto the hall way, Hermione used that opportunity and closed the door. Soon the servants were trying to get her to open it.

"I said, leave me alone! I don't know what drugs you're in, but you aren't getting anywhere near my body! And get that git out of here! Ahh!"

_He saw me without clothes and he got a-a- ahhh! That's disgusting, flattering, but disgusting. Hmm…I wonder what he would be like without any clothes- OMG; I can't believe I just thought that! Hermione, Ahhh! What's happening to you, I know…I bumped my head. That's got to be the reason why I think Dra- Malfoy is hot! I don't, I just…well, yeah. _

Hermione kept thinking that over and over again. Then she remembered that she had to get dressed and hurried to do it. She chose to not wear a corset; since it meant she could not breathe and just chose a simple- but extremely beautiful- satin dress; it was the simplest dress she could find.

Sighing she opened the door, it was now dark and the servant had long gone. They had gone to the King, but so far her "father" hadn't come. They had said something about a feast and preparing the food and so they had rushed off.

-Meanwhile, with Draco-

Draco walked down the corridors of the castle, looking at a painting here and another one there. He tried to think of anything else besides Hermione and her nice legs, slim waist…he snapped out of his thoughts all of a sudden, knowing where they were going to lead; another hard-on, and so he continued walking.

He had gone out of Hermione's room reluctantly and headed off into another direction, now he was lost. He had checked his clothes and tried to look for his wand; which he never found. What he did find was a sword strapped to his sides, encrusted with jewels.

He stopped all of a sudden when he heard a voice behind him. It was Hermione's father, he strode towards Draco. His crown gleamed a golden color and a smile was on his lips.

"Draco, my boy; Come along now, it's almost time for the feast! A few words before we announce what we have too…Hermione is a very good girl, and extremely smart for her own good; try to keep her in check when- well, you know. Oh- and Prince Christopher will be here any moment now, why not go and greet him?"

Before Draco could say anything regarding the feast the King pushed him towards a door where he was told to wait for Prince Christopher. Draco was raging mad at that moment because nobody would even let him get a word in. Finally, after thirty minutes of waiting, a short, chubby man walked in and bowed.

"Presenting Prince Christopher or Vakindonm." Without another word he went out and a tall, dark haired man appeared in the doorway. He was approximately twenty, had deep blue, smiling eyes, strong jaw and was more muscularly built than Draco. Without meaning to he felt a twinge of envy as he sized the guy up.

Christopher smiled broadly and went closer to Draco. "Draco, I came to congratulate you personally. You have no idea how happy I am for you, Hermione was my first true love but…under the circumstances I give you my blessing."

Draco at that pint was confused, he had no idea what he was talking about nor did he know what was going on here. All he had come to terms with was the fact that he seemed to be back in time because of the potion that he had done before coming here. Since he didn't want to seem stupid because he had no idea what he was talking about, all he knew was that it had to do with Hermione, he just nodded his head.

"Err…yes." He mumbled under his breath.

"Just know this, if you harm her in any way, I will have your head." Without another word he left the chamber that they were in and left leaving Draco fuming behind him.

-Outside the chamber with Christopher-

_Heh- will Hermione and Draco have the biggest surprise of their lives. I have really no idea why I even agreed to help Deisi with her plans to bring house unity…it's really rubbish, but still…I couldn't help NOT helping her. She is a very big friend of mine…I don't know how I'm supposed to act like I love Hermione for her plan when I don't…I don't love her actually, I love…well, she probably doesn't feel anything for me either. It's utterly hopeless, I'll just keep on doing my job…maybe then I'll win her praise. _

-Now, with Hermione-

The maids rushed towards Hermione as soon as they saw that the door opened. They looked at her up and down and nodded, obviously they didn't mind that Hermione had chosen a simpler dress to wear.

"Milady, do hurry up, the feast is about to begin; you need to be there!" one of them shouted and pushed her down a long corridor. Soon she was at the Great Hall of the castle, everyone had already been seated. A long, think table was in the center of the room, plates and dishes were set before all the guests. The King and Queen sat at the highest table there, over looking their guests.

Hermione saw that Draco had already been seated besides the King and another guy also. She looked at the man with blue eyes and dark hair; she instantly felt a crush forming. As the two door closed behind her, all the eyes bore on her. The men all stood for her entrance and the women besides their husbands smiled warmly. There were more than one hundred people present; at least that's what she thought as she looked at all the richly clad people in the room.

She smiled and looked both ways. She had no clue what to do, until she saw a chair across from Draco that was empty, she guessed that it was for her and she slowly made her way to it. Slowly people began to sit down and she was soon at the top of the table, with her "father".

_All right, now what…am I supposed to bow or something! Ahh- I knew I should have taken that History course they were making over vacation! Alright…I'll just bow and umm…yeah. _

Hermione smiled at the people at the table, except for Draco. She couldn't even look at him in the eye.

The King stood up and waved for silence, which followed.

"I have a great announcement to make! Please pay attention." Everyone looked up at the King who had a huge smile on his face.

"Prince Draco of the Nethrilandious Coloniassn, came to me this morning with a proposal. As you all know, my daughter and himself have been courting another, and came to love another-"

Hermione stared dumbly at the King while Draco stood gaping up at him.

"it is now my pleasure to announce that my only daughter, Hermione, and a man I came to love as my own child, Draco will be getting married in two months!"

The hall erupted into cheers while Hermione stood watching in horror. _I-we-I-what! I have to get married with HIM! Draco Malfoy! My enemy! Ahh! I've lost it! Wake me up, someone, from this dream that keeps getting worse! Oh- I know, I'll pinch myself! Yes, that's it! _

Hermione pinched her hand and yelped with pain.

_Oh, lord! It's true, I'm awake, and I have to marry him! Kill me noooooow!_

Draco looked at Hermione's expressions and would have laughed at the silliness of then. Except that he HAD TO MARRY HER! It was not, anywhere near, a laughing matter!

_I have to marry her, my reputation will be ruined…my parents will take away my fortune! God, no! I can't let this happen, I will kill her- yes, that's it! If she's dead I can't marry her, I'm safe! Oh, wait…I'm not a killer, and the last thing I want is blood on my hands. Damn myself! Uhh…What the hell am I supposed to do now! _

The king motioned to everyone to stop with the congratulations and motioned for the servants to serve the first course of food.

-Hogwarts, Present-

Deisi changed the channel on the television, and changed it to where Ron and Pansy were located at. She had just wanted to see how Hermione and Draco were, and wanted to make sure that everything was going according to plan.

She decided to call Christopher (A/n: Deisi can communicate with Christopher on a magical phone…because, well…it's my story!) and soon he was on the line.

_Christopher: Hello?_

Deisi: Hey, Chris! Are you ready for the next stage of the plan?

_Chris: Sigh Yes, I am…what else am I supposed to do besides what you have told me already?_

Deisi: Well, that's what I have so far. Thanks, again, for doing this for me, Chris. You have no idea how much I appreciate it; you're such a great friend.

_(In a low voice)_

_Chris: If only we could be more…_

(Deisi not hearing)

Deisi: I'm sorry, I couldn't hear you…what was that?

_Chris: Nothing, forget it. Is there something else you want me to help you with?_

Deisi: No, no, what you're doing is helping me more than enough! Thanks, again, Chris. Love ya! (A/n: She means as a friend… 'I love you' in this story means that they love them as more than friends….)

_Chris: I love you too. _

Click.

Deisi hung up the phone and returned to watching the television, for some odd reason…she just felt confused about everything.

Author's Note: I'm so sorry that it took me so long to update, I've been extremely busy with all my school work and trying to keep my grades up. Well, I know it isn't long…but, that's what I could do in the short amount of time I had for a break! I'll try to update soon, although it won't be as often as I would like…please review! They motivate me to write more and take time to make longer chapter! hint, hint

-Tsuneni2Nocis


	9. Chapter 9

By: Tsuneni2Nocis

Summary: What happens when a muggle matchmaker is sought out by Dumbledore to bring house unity? Insanity, time travel, passion...and pissed off characters. Hehehe...let the madness begin! R&R Parings: HG/DM, RW/PP, HP/LB

Disclaimer: It's all true! I'm not lying! The Harry Potter characters are all mine! So don't be jealous! Don't you cry! I'll let you see Harry nude, one more time! (Well, not really. Bah! They belong to J.K Rowling, that lucky person!)

Author's note: Hey everyone!! Hope you're all are doing good. Just wanted to say a few things before I get on with chapter nine…

1). Sorry for the long wait, I've been so busy lately!

2). I need a BETA so if anyone is interested e-mail me at I decided to work with Harry and Lavender, Ron and Pansy, Hermione and Draco for now. I don't think I can handle four couples at the same time! So, Ginny and Blaise will have to wait for later…mayhap in a different story or something!

4). Enjoy the story!! And, review!

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Chapter Nine: 

_**--Somewhere in the middle of nowhere--**_

It was pouring rain outside on the beach, thunder and lightning could be heard and seen at a distance; waves could be heard crashing into each other. Besides the beach a red-head was on the soggy ground, groaning in pain and from the cold.

"Ugh…gimme back my covers, Fred!" Ron yelled, imagining that it was his brother that had taken away the sheets and the cause of why he was so cold.

Ron could feel the water soaking him, but it didn't really matter to him; all he needed was sleep. He turned on his side and used his hand as a pillow.

Meanwhile a turtle was making its way out of the water when suddenly it saw Ron. His back was visible, and his pants were now lowered, his back-side could be seen. (A/n: If only we could see it…lol)

It moved towards Ron and opened its mouth, biting Ron's butt.

"Ahh!" He screamed.

With a jolt he got up, trying to get the stinging out of his buttocks, the turtle was still clutching them with his mouth.

"Get it off, get it off!!! Ahh, it hurts, it hurts!!! MUUUUMMM!!!" He reached behind him and plied the turtle off of him. Then he backed away, he was now sobbing.

"It's burning, and now it's bleeding!! Ahh!" He was so caught up in what was happening that he didn't even notice that he was no where near Hogwarts, and no where near anywhere he had ever been.

He went backwards suddenly and tripped over something. He landed with a thud and his buttocks began to hurt even more. He looked in front of him and he saw a girl with her head stuck in the dirt; Pansy.

"Mffttttmph!!" her head was covered in dirt and she was trying to get it out of the ground. Ron began to laugh and laugh. All the while, Pansy continue screaming and trying to actually ask for help; she had no idea Ron was next to her.

After a few minutes of this Ron began to feel frustrated, the stinging from his butt had dulled, but it still hurt tremendously. He crawled towards Pansy and grabbed her by the waist, and then he pulled. They both went backwards and Pansy began screeching bloody murder.

"Lemme go!!! I said, let me go!" She continued this charade while Ron struggled to not get beat-up. He got tired of his chin being punched so he shoved her forward and thrust her face into the dirt again; once again, Pansy was stuck.

"Mphfft. Back to bed now!" Ron crawled on all fours and made himself comfortable on the sand. He soon was fast asleep, Pansy got her head un-stuck but she was too tired to complain and went to sleep too.

Four hours later …

Ron and Pansy awoke at the same instant and they looked around, and then looked back at each other.

"Where the hell are we?!" Ron yelled.

"I don't know, I don't know! What will we do, Ron?!" Pansy made her way over to Ron and sobbed on his shoulder while he gently patted her back.

It was getting darker now, and pretty soon it was going to be night-time. Both teenagers had no idea what do, since they never had to deal with this before. They were surrounded by water, didn't have their wands and the island that they were encased in had no sounds of living beings being there.

"Don't worry, Pansy! We'll get out of this…it's not like people didn't see us disappear or anything…they'll come find us! Dumbledore's, probably, already using all the resources that he needs to find us…don-don't…cry!!" Ron then began sobbing and wailing like his b-hind was set on fire—which was still hurting, by the way.

**_--Back at Hogwarts--_**

Deisi had fallen asleep on the couch, while watching Pansy and Ron on the television. She awoke with a start when she heard something tapping outside the door. Rubbing her eyes, she stood and headed for the door, saying the password, the portrait opened and Dumbledore stepped in.

"Ah, Ms. Acevedo, just the person I wanted to see. How are you doing today?"

Dumbledore crossed the portrait door and made his way inside the dormitory, grabbing a pile of candy that was on a table near the couch.

"Pretty good, Sir, I just finished watching Ron and Pansy." She mumbled stifling a yawn with her right hand.

"And?"

"Nothing much to tell really. They're in a 'deserted' island, until I plant some people there, to make everything more interesting, of course."

"Yes, of course. What of Hermione and Draco, Lavender and Harry?" Dumbledore asked, a twinkle coming into his light blue eyes as he smiled.

"Well…they're doing pretty good right now too. Haven't killed themselves yet, but I do believe that they soon will, but…I won't let that happen. I was just about to check on the two couples but I fear I went to sleep instead." Sheepishly, Deisi turned on the television.

"Would you care to join me, in watching everything unravel, Sir?" Deisi asked.

Making a bowl of popcorn appear out of nowhere, Dumbledore answered, "I thought you'd never ask!"

---- --- ---

**_England, Middle Ages, 1277_**

After the initial shock of having to get married with Draco, Hermione managed to take a sip of her drink. Her 'father' continued to talk to all the guests, while she plotted what she would do to get away from there before anything would actually happen.

"Now, with this news that I grant you all, let's eat!" Everyone began to gather the food that was in front of them, while servants served them drink and other things. Hermione was silent, and Draco remained furious.

"Ah, father…" Hermione began, "Is it true that I'm to be married?" she quietly asked.

The King looked at her incredulous and then he looked at Draco. "I thought you said that she had your consent?"

Draco scowled at Hermione, and hated the fact that his honor was in jeopardy because of a muggle born. He stood up, grabbed Hermione by the arm, and excused himself as he went outside with Hermione desperately trying to keep up with him.

"What the hell was that for, Malfoy?! And, PLEASE tell me what is going on here! I'm not marrying YOU, ever; today, tomorrow, not even when hell freezes over!" She pushed Draco away, and he almost staggered.

"I have no idea what's happening here! Do you honestly think that I WANT to marry such a despicable thing as you?! Never in my life would I want that. But, even if it IS so, I WILL NOT, have you damaging my honor! We have to play along here!"

Hermione looked up at him steaming, and perplexed.

"I'm NOT going to play ALONG here! I will not marry you, honor be damned! I owe you nothing, nor will I ever. You call me despicable, but that's really describing you!" Hermione then ran back inside, leaving Draco to chase after her.

In the Great Hall, everyone stopped talking and eating to see who had interrupted their meal with their screaming.

The King made his way over to Hermione and asked her what was wrong.

"Father, he lies! I never wanted to marry him! He forced me, he tried to make me marry him because of his 'honor' but, he has none you see! He called me despicable, and other things as well, PLEASE don't make me marry him!" Hermione threw herself into her father's arms, and began sobbing.

Draco stood there, fuming and glaring at Hermione's back. Christopher came over to Hermione's side, sword raised and ready to slice Draco in half.

"You dare insult the Princess; you, who swore to love her?!"

Draco stepped back.

"I did NO such thing! She lies; I will have none of it. How can you trust the word of a woman who has been spoiled since she was younger; how can you say that I have forced her to do something that she doesn't want to do?"

The King let go of Hermione and stepped menacingly towards Draco.

"You DARE raise your voice, at Christopher? You dare question my daughter's upbringing?! Forget the peace treaty that we were going to have between our clans, forget the friendship, young Prince!" The King howled.

Hermione, in the background, hid a smile; her eyes mocking Draco.

"Get out of my castle! If I ever see you here, and my daughter won't allow it, I shall cut your throat and hang your body from the highest tower to adorn our walls!"

Draco, followed by a bunch of servants, left the castle without even looking back.

He would find a way to get his revenge.

**_--Hogwarts, Present.--_**

Deisi stood there, jaw opened and no intelligent words coming out of her mouth, tried to speak.

"Ho-wa-uh-no-gah!"

"What was that?" Dumbledore asked.

Deisi cleared her throat, and drank some of her soda.

"I did not envision this would happen! Seriously, she probably caused a war with her hate. Well, she would have if the King wasn't going to actually have one…he's Christopher's sister's husband's father, you know." She managed to get out.

"Well, my dear, I do believe this will work out in the long-run. Love always springs up from the deepest hate, and passions."

"Yeah, of course. I think I should go check on Harry and Lavender though, would you like to come along?" she asked Dumbledore.

The old man thought about it for a little while, and then shook his head.

"I have to see Hagrid; some pixies got out in his cabin and won't let him leave."

"Well, okay then." Deisi and Dumbledore walked out of the dormitory and made their way out, closing the door behind them.

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Author's Note: Well, I hope you enjoyed this chapter! So sorry for the wait, I just haven't been inspired, and been to lazy; I will try to update sooner though! And, you know…reviewing ill make me want to write another chapter this week, so review!!!

-Tsuneni2Nocis


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